Response
by SkyWarrior66
Summary: Set during Trash. Simon sort of threatens Jayne. River definitely threatens Jayne. Jayne responds. Formerly titled "Threatening Jayne".


Not my world/creation. Obviously. really.

Takes place just after Ep 12...during the end I mean.

 _The kid has balls._ Even Jayne could admit that. For a gorram pretty boy with lily soft hands he sure had potential to be mildly terrifying. he grunted as he tried to get him non-responsive limbs to move. Nothing so much as twitched. A sound drew his attention to the door if the infirmary; that little space case was smiling at him creepily. He tried in vain to move again, no way in hell he wanted to be helpless around her. She had already slashed him up once and he had at least been able to beat her back when she ruined his pretty, pretty chest.

"Also, I can kill you with my brain." She left, leaving him with what would have been near soaked pants if he hadn't taken a piss before the whole mission started. Begin every mission with an empty bladder, he always said. First time he had come so close to pissing himself in years. He growled uselessly, and could only lie there as his mind whirled about the encounter he had just gone through with the doctor.

He had been intense. His voice so calm and misleading, but his eyes, when he did look at him...it unsettled him, made his stomach flip and burn. Hell, it was the closest thing he had gotten to death in a while, despite the fight they just had back on Ariel and at Niska's station. At least then he had been able to fight or protect himself in some way. This total lack of movement and utter uselessness was terrifying in a way he had never felt before. He blinked ineffectively and sighed in frustration. A finger twitched and he strained for more. Nothing. _Wait a bit more_ , he figured. At least Mal had been rather more forward about calling him out and threatening his ass and all; he knew where he stood at that with the Captain. Now he had some brain killer chick who would probably staring at him as he took a piss every day. Great. Gorram great time.

What was next? The doc joining him the shower?

He blinked at the thought. Seemed his man parts weren't paralyzed at least. Been a while since he felt a _stirring_ for a man. Heh, that book had some great words for the ones he already knew. At least what limited Cortex they had on this ship had a thesaurus to tell them what the hell they meant. He rolled his eyes and felt for a couple more fingers to twitch for him. Thank the stars his wrists could flex now. The last injection maybe helped along the muscle moving part at least. Better not be no brain killing going on while he was like this. A man died on his feet, not lying on a hospital bed. He sighed again and waited until he was able to move again.

Then he would go see to that pretty boy with that pretty mouth.

Simon had cleaned up quickly after that whole affair in the infirmary. Threatening people was not how he customarily did things, but considering the life changes he had gone through since getting his sister safe meant that he would have to get used to it. Things were different here on the rim and he would have to adjust to them as needed to keep him and River alive and out of the Alliance's hands. At least he could keep his manners polished as his upbringing demanded. Well, unless he was threatening bodily harm on his crew mates.

He quickly pulled his pants on, not willing to risk River coming in while in a towel. Last time that had happened she had suffered another episode leaving him buck naked in front of baby sister and half of their stuff thrown about their room. He sat on the bed heavily, his fingers playing with the buttons on his still not donned shirt; what had come over him? It was like someone else had been in charge in that infirmary, promising harm to Jayne if he ever did anything like that again. That rush of power and sureness had surprised him. He never felt like that unless he was in the surgery. He knew his craft, his trade and never had cause to doubt his abilities as a doctor. Everywhere else he was uncertain. He hid it well, playing cool at times, but he knew he was awkward at best otherwise. At least he was valuable for his medical abilities, or he was sure no one on this piece of junk would talk to him. Even Kaylee was attracted to the Doctor, not necessarily to him.

As crudely as Jayne had put way back when he first boarded Serenity, he was right, Simon believed. Being a doctor was special, different, from what Kaylee and the other were used to out here. He was a novelty as much as a Companion in many ways, and he hated it. At least Inara could do what she wanted and was able to choose where to go in that shuttle of hers. He was trapped here with his sister. It was...stifling. Simon scowled at his hand; he had wrinkled the material of his shirt with his thoughts.

A thump broke him from his thoughts as Jayne let himself into his quarters without a by-your-leave. _Tā mā de wǒ de shēnghuó*._ He hoped Jayne wouldn't kill him for knocking him on his ass and leaving him in the infirmary for anyone to see. He sat there, slack jawed at the sight of Jayne, wondering when the axe was going to fall. Jayne just stood there however, staring at him. It was unnerving to say the least. For a man who had a generally blank face his was suddenly full of intent.

He cleared his throat, "Jayne."

"Doc."

Well, this was unsettling. He was still staring, the lug. "Can I help you...with something?" Could he sound any more unsure? Great follow up to his whole speech in the infirmary. Consistency was overrated after all.

"Maybe."

Simon huffed and restrained himself from rolling his eyes. This was going nowhere fast. "Well, if you have anything to say or do, would you please proceed quickly. I have things to do today aside from doping my crew mates and making them listen to me talk."

"Well, that's real funny; considering yer so good at it and all."

Simon blinked; was Jayne's tone _admiring_? His gaze... _Tzao goa_. His mind immediately went where it shouldn't. He felt the urge to slap himself but managed to not-he would have looked twice as stupid as he did now. That was the last thing he needed to do in front of Jayne. When had their insults, jibes and bickering turn to this? At least on Jayne's side.

"That's right Doc, should have known it would take me threatening your sister in some way for your balls to drop. Gotta say, mighty surprised they did at all though."

Simon stood, annoyed. What the hell was with this man? Few had the ability to get under his skin. This one did. A lug. A moron. A living weapon. His eyes traced Jayne's form. Damn his bisexual tendencies for noticing this particular life form.

"I didn't threaten you."

"Sure you did." Jayne smiled slowly now, pushing off the wall next to the door slowly.

"I told you I wouldn't. And that you should consider trust as an option." His eyes narrowed at Jayne tugging the door closed, locking it. _Tzao goa,_ he was screwed. He was going to get beaten to death and no one would know it. Oh, they would figure it out, Jayne was as subtle as a laser cannon to the skull, but it would too late for him.

Jayne prowled towards the Doc. He looked like a cornered rabbit, "your sister did."

"Sh-She didn't mean anything by it. She can't actually kill you with her brain. Only a moron would actually believe that."

Jayne smirked, crowding the poor doctor into the wall. "Oh, I wouldn't put it past her."

"Jayne, what are you doing?"

Of course the lug decided to answer non-verbally. Simon should have seen that coming. He was useless with words most of the time; merely less awkward than Simon himself was with them. Managed to offend the same amount of people though.

The beard, as trimmed and short as it was, felt gorram odd against his skin. The lips though, they just felt hot and dry. They scraped against his own lips and he was definitely not adverse to the sensation. The situation itself, however, was absolutely ridiculous.

Simon shoved Jayne back. All of half a foot. "I-I thought you didn't kiss them on the mouth." Really? Of all the things he could have said, that popped out? Something had clearly been short circuited in his cranium for that to have ever come out of his mouth.

Jaybe smirked again. "Whores, doc. I don't kiss whores on the mouth. No use making them do that or give them expectation of nothing when yer only rentin' them fer the night. Docs with a pretty mouth however, those I do kiss."

Flabbergasted was an appropriate word for his feelings at this moment, Simon decided. It wasn't quite what going mad surely felt like, but it was drawing close. "What?" Eloquent.

Jayne snorted and leaned in again, Simon barely turning his head in time. The beard scraped along his jaw before Jayne's head dipped lower to start in on his neck. A shudder ran through Simon's body at the sensation of lips and teeth scraping the sensitive skin of his neck. "Um, Jayne, if you're planning on fucking me, I should tell you that I don't receive. For anyone. I only pitch." Simon sighed when Jayne paused, then leaned back until he could look Simon in the face clearly. Surprised mixed befuddled was a good description of Jayne's face, Simon noted.

"Huh, didn't expect that."

Simon glared at the taller man. "No one does. They see average height and a pretty face and assume i'm the girl. I'm not. Never have been."

Well now, that was a whole 'nother box of ammo. Jayne stared at him, trying to see if would crack and admit he was lying. The steady gaze surprised him. That look was never on his face 'cept in the medical aid area of things, as far as Jayne knew. Eh, what the hell did he have to lose? He had tried it when he was younger, anyway. Not like it was that new to him. Sure as hell been a while though.

"You better know what yer doing then, Doc, or I'll be mighty annoyed."

Simon's mind was officially blown. In fact, he was sure he had gone mad. There was no way in the gorramed 'verse that Jayne Cobb would let him, Simon Tam, screw him into the mattress. The renewed assault on his mouth by the one Jayne Cobb certainly rebooted his brain. Only just enough for him to respond though, mostly through instinct at this point. He had no idea when he would regain higher brain power at this time; there was too much Jayne on his mind at the moment.

Jayne, the pushy bastard that he was, maneuvered them onto the bed and had Simon flat on his back. At least this spurred some higher brain function, and Simon pressed upwards, bumping their groins together. Well, at least he knew Jayne was really into this whole thing; a hard on like that couldn't be faked. Simon groaned against the lips, the tongue fighting his. He knew Jayne had a fine ass, but he hadn't expected it to feel so good in his hands, his fingers digging into the cargo pants as he shaped them and squeezed tight. The sensation caused Jayne to rut against Simon, who had no problem with that at all.

The next few minutes were a blur of rutting, rubbing and ripping off of clothes. Simon kicked off the last of his pants from his ankles pulled Jayne back down onto him to straddle his hips from where he had been kicking off his own pants and stared. Who knew Jayne would look so delectable with his thighs spread wide across his hips? Seemingly miles of rolling muscle, golden skin, dark hair and rather impressive thick cock made up the package that was Jayne Cobb. He finally looked up to meet Jayne's eyes and was met by his cocky grin. The bastard knew how good he looked and the effect he had on people naked. Simon grinned, a mercenary tint to it, as he rolled up his hips to remind the thief above him who was going to be the one fucked that night. While he wasn't as blessingly endowed as Jayne, he was of quite decently proportioned and he was a doctor, for star's sakes. He knew everything there was to know about the human body and how to turn his partners into a whimpering, wailing mess if he so tried.

He reached to grab the bottle of lotion he kept in his satchel next to his bed for later and sat up, dragging his fingers roughly down the mercenary's chest, his mouth finding the brown nipple and letting his teeth sink into it. The hiss from above him only pushed him further, worrying it between his teeth while his tongue flicked and rubbed against roughly.

The groan from above his head was his answer to whether or not Jayne liked it a bit rough or not and callused fingers ran through his hair, gripping the dark strands tightly to dircet him as needed. A free hand ran down Simons back roughly, pulling at his skin intermittently as Jayne ground and rolled his hips on Simon's. _Fuck, this is not going to last much longer if he keeps this up._

The doctor pulled away from the nub he had been torturing and grabbed the bottle of lube, coating two fingers liberally. Jayne obligingly straightened, giving Simon room to work him and ready him for the elegant cock he had briefly seen earlier while shucking his own clothes before crawling all over the doc again. He hissed slightly lightly as the first fingers slid smoothly into him. Grabbing a fist of hair, he tugged the younger man's mouth upwards and bowed his back to kiss him while the finger worked into him and started moving. Well, at least his body remembered how to do this; his prick sure was a happy thing, bobbing about against the doc's stomach as the other finger joined the first to scissor in and tease the ever living tzao goa out of him. The gorram doc's fingers couldn't just finger fuck 'im and rub his prostate, could they? No, they had to skirt around the sweet spot and tease and it was driving him crazy as the headspace sister surely was.

"Fuck, doc! Get to it and knock it off with the pussy footing!" Simon laughed against his chest and only paused to lube his cock up before pulling Jayne over him. Jayne didn't bother to wait for the doc, going by feel, he slid down the eagerly awaiting dick in one smooth movement.

Simon gasped and fell back onto the bed, breathing hard already. Jayne had barely winced and was now wiggling, getting comfortable. Simon grinned, satisfied by the sensation; he traced his sides, pressing his thumb deeply into Jayne's sides just above the hipbone and dragging them down over the skin and bone. Jayne let out a half shout at the feel of his lumbar plexus nerves being so sharply stimulated, his body jerked and Simon didn't give him time to recover; digging his fingers into his hips and thrusting upwards in short, brutal strokes.

They rocked together for several breathless moments before Simon flipped them over and rose up onto his knees. He thrust shallowly, leaning forward slightly and pressing one hand down on Jayne's pelvis, just above the root of his cock. The heel of his palm pressed firmly in and he thrust upwards, jinking his hips to rub along the upper wall of Jayne's ass.

The results were explosive. Jayne let out a keening shout and starting writhing against him, his hands scrambling for purchase on the sheets and bulkhead of the Firefly. Simon spared a breath for a short laugh and thrust hard into the hot body below him. He was so damned close and Jayne looked like he was about to orgasm just from the stimulated prostate alone. He and one of his fellow med school peers had figured out this trick; the palm pressed the pelvis down and allowed for his cock to rub and scrape against the prostate with more contact than any other position he had figured out so far. He could have teased this out for a gorram long time if he felt like it, but Jayne's cock was already weeping precome and he was about to lose control himself. He used his other hand, previously bracing him on the bed, to quickly jerk off Jayne who was currently digging the heels of his feet into his ass to pull him in harder.

Simon heard more than saw the results of that action as Jayne shouted out his relief and pelasure, hot come coating Simon's hand seconds later. He fell forward and braced himself on both hands, desperately fucking the clenching body below him for half a dozen more thrusts before groaning through gritted teeth and coming himself.

He really didn't have the strength to hold himself up after that and half collapsed onto Jayne below him as he gasped in air. He laid there for a few minutes until Jayne shoved at his shoulder. He smiled at him in apology and pulled out of his crewmate carefully, sliding off the bed to fetch a cloth to clean both him and Jayne off.

The task done, he sat on the bed, glad he had done work ups on all the crew after he officially became a member of the crew. At least he knew Jayne was clean. Usually he was meticulous with sexual health, but he hadn't had much time to even think about what had just happened, much less plan a date and the eventual after meal sex.

He felt Jayne shift and turned to look as he got off the bed and started pulling his clothes on. He watched him do so for a moment, not sure if he should speak after what had just happened. Hell, he didn't even know what had happened. It had occurred rather quickly, he reasoned. He didn't even think Jayne had really thought this through.

"So, uh, thank you for the intercourse."

There was silence for a beat and Simon was mentally berating himself for his usual awkward choice of words. Jayne let out a bark of laughter and Simon rubbed his face in response, blushing.

"I better git going before yer sister shows up. Wouldn't be surprised if she could tear my dick off with her brain as well as kill me with it, ya know?"

Simon's shoulders fell slightly before he registered the words and started blushing like mad. He scrambled about trying to dress swearing under his swear about River walking in on them. "I locked the door, remember doc? 'Sides, with noises we were making, I'm sure she knew to not stick around."

Blushes renewed at the thought of his sister, no _the entire crew_ knowing that he and Jayne had just had congress was nothing short of humiliating. This damn ship echoed, and he knew it from hearing Zoe and Wash sometimes.

" _Tā mā de wǒ de shēnghuó*"_

Jayne only laughed again and opened the door. He looked over his shoulder and leered at the man that had just fucked him. "Let me know if I need another examination, doc. Wouldn't want to have any nerve issues in the future from the fall, ya know." He started laughing again and left, leaving the door ajar.

It didn't take more than 15 seconds of vaguely horrified staring at the door (from the fact that he made a sex pun or that he was attempting to make their activities an excuse for a medical condition, Simon really had no idea. Both, it was both. And so much more, actually.) before River popped her head around the door jam with wide eyes and a giggle falling from her lips. Simon could only collapse into his bed in a ball and groan. He was never going to live any of this down. He just _knew it._

A/N: _Tā mā de wǒ de shēnghuó*_ = Fuck my life.

There are far too few fics of this couple. I just had to. I did. Between Jayne saying the doc had a pretty mouth before Ariel and the whole infirmary threatening scene….come on now.


End file.
